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Harry Lime holds human life in low regard, and has no scruples about selling stolen and diluted penicillin on the black market, making a tidy profit and not caring about the deaths that ensued. For such a short amount of screen time, Lime is a hugely memorable villain. Assuming the union does its job, of course. All you have to do to stop this uppity, schlong-septumed snob from constantly disparaging you is develop a totally unique ability — such as flying — and all of a sudden she's your best friend and always has been.

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Cold, austere, clinical, and lacking in any basic human empathy, it wouldn't be a total shock if there was a framed picture of Nurse Ratched above the fireplace in the Cabinet Office. But he is also liable to feed you into a combine harvester, one millimetre at a time, while calling your mother something unspeakably pithy. There are many arseholes in romantic comedies. Basically, if Mal were nicer, he'd be dead by now. Possibly it's the nepotism. With his lips like an upturned jezebel.

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Hal in Malcolm In The Middle is very endearing. Incidentally, if you're reading this and were expecting a different sort of article entirely, I can only apologise and suggest you go for a long walk or a cold shower or something. So far, no one in America seems to have come down on Jurassic Park for its subtle advocation of trade unionism. James Potter has limited screen time in the Harry Potter series, but what we do learn about him suggests that it's not a total mystery why Harry's such an insufferable nodule at times. Saw is not, apparently, an incredibly miserable sequel to The Princess Bride. The 'nice' bit is not compulsory. If you don't have time to read Ken Kasey's novel for your English exam, why not watch the film and marvel at the sight of a young Brad Dourif.

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Description: Not for nothing did Kes give potential secondary school kids more nightmares than Mr Bronson from Grange Hill. While Tuco is being tortured, he just looks faintly amused by the whole thing. Rob is one of the more honest examples of the male lead in a rom-com causing more pain than a Deep Heat soaked skewer to the thighs. Joanna Scanlan gives good Ratched. Until William Atherton was in Ghostbusters and Die Hard, nobody had ever been rude about ginger people. The reason he's on this list, though, is because he's played by Cary Elwes, and if Cary Elwes is playing a ballbag then it feels as if Wesley has betrayed us.
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